I had no idea what was about to hit me and that my life would never be the same again. But I'm rushing ahead. I'll take you back so you can understand how I came to be lying in bed with this Bible basher.
My father flew the nest when I was about nine years old.
With my mother, sister and me and only mum's income to support us, things were tight. I remember many nights when there was no money for the electric and we had to burn newspaper to keep warm. Still, my mum was great, what she couldn’t give financially she made up for with love and freedom. In retrospect, I think the freedom I was given and the lack of a father figure contributed to my later downfall.
Fast foreword five years and I had become a mad keen footballer and football fan.
I travelled the length and breath of England watching my team Spurs. I became quite inventive with my excuses as to why I wasn't at school, or so I thought. The reality was everyone knew Spurs had a midweek game and I needed the day off school so I could go to watch.
The playing side of my passion for football was also developing, captain of the school, county games and finally trials for West Ham United. The fact West Ham turned me down because of my attitude rather than my footballing ability is a good indication of how I was developing as a person, from here on in it was going to be all down hill.
On a few more years and football had been replaced by sex and drugs and rock and roll, actually, drink, drugs and bikes to be accurate.
Looking back, I probably used drink and drugs to fill the void I felt inside. My evenings consisted of as much excess as I could handle, still I held it together (or so I thought) and eventually got married to a beautiful woman in my mid twenties. I think she had her doubts about the relationship right up to our wedding day but she, like many women, hoped things would improve and stuck it out. She had already been married and had two very young children and I was trying to get it together in my role of step dad. This role didn't sit well with my selfish nature and to my shame I made a very poor job of it.
On a couple more years and we reach one of the highest points of my life, my son being born at home.
High? Now this was a real “high!” Being at the birth was just amazing even though I had a bath just before the midwife arrived and had used all the hot water. I remember being paranoid, even though it was May and turned the heating up so the little chap wouldn't be cold. The Doctor on arriving suggested I turn the heating down as we had had a baby not a pot plant! Like a drug illusion, the euphoria of the birth soon passed and things got back to normal.
I'd now reached the ripe old age of 33.
How I was alive at the time is still a mystery, though clearer now. Fights and even jumping off a sixty foot cliff (I broke my pelvis) didn't deter this intrepid traveller on the road to self destruction. My wife had by this time reached the end of her tether and even started going to church! What was this all about? Suddenly, I'd got a Bible basher for a wife and that's how she came to be reading to me in bed on that particular night. Long after she had bored herself to sleep I was staring at the ceiling pondering what she had been reading.
My last memory of that night before falling asleep was thinking "was there really a Jesus?".
I awoke next morning to a brand new universe and from that moment I knew Jesus was exactly who He said He was. My life was totally changed, the chains of drink, drugs, hatred and self pity just fell away and the empty void was filled with love and joy. I'd come home and found my true father.
I'd like to say that the Christian life is all plain sailing but nothing could be further from the truth.
Being a Christian doesn’t make you immune from the storms and trials of life and at no point are you guaranteed a smooth flight but you are promised a smooth landing.
Thankyou for taking the time to read this, perhaps you have some questions? Looking For God is a good place to find answers.
To be continued ...